Jasmine Hart

Thanks Jasmine. (Yep, I do feel like I'm talking to myself!) I'll wait a couple of posts-maybe Lilac can find her her hiding behind the door?

Hi, I really enjoyed this. "He had not tasted anything like, the rough, dry toast" and "His broken heart as messy as the scrambled eggs before him" are brilliant lines. ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This flows nicely, and the repetition of the "er" sound at the end is very effective, suggesting that it is ...

Jean Lambe Read and sleep, read and sleep. It was all going quite nicely until I realized that many of the books had pages ripped out of them. Over half ...

You called, beloved, how mundane! My hotel number, which must have faded from the crook of your arm by now -I know how you sweat there, how the rash builds ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. The first two lines really drew me in. The emotion comes across very powerfully. I'd change the second two as ...

Hi, This was nice and uplifting. I think the repetition of "up" helped build the whole motivational tone up. I'd say "There are" at the beginning as it sounds more ...

Hi, I love the rhythm of this piece. The form is great and the tone works well here. I'd take another look at stanzas four, six and seven as the ...

Hi, The form works perfectly here. It's a really beautiful poem and the repetition makes it. The only thing I'd change would be to cut "little" before "things" as it ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. The opening line really drew me in. I'd change "each" to "either" as I think it fits the rhythm better. I think the fourth stanza ...

Jean Lambe Nice and safe, nice and safe, nice and safe in my room. It was fine now, just me in my room with the fifty books I'd smuggled out ...

I hate asking to be brought in, but please? *big eyes*

Hi Tenyo, I really enjoyed this, especially; "and the sleepless blue that bruises the skin under your eyes." and "when the whispers of the walls tell me that real men ...

Name: Miranda Prince Age: 29 Position: bard Reason for joining: (Why do they seek the fountain of youth?) She feels like she has wasted a lot of time. She disguised ...

Sugar. I'll go do this now.